5 replies to this topic

[thealtruismsociety]

How do I write a pause in conversation that's longer than a comma? I thought it was three dots ... but apparently that's incorrect.

[Thoth]

thealtruismsociety, on Dec 5 2010, 11:52 PM, said:

How do I write a pause in conversation that's longer than a comma? I thought it was three dots ... but apparently that's incorrect.

According to the Chicago Manual Of Style, 15th edition, part 11.45:

Ellipsis points can be used to suggest faltering or fragmented speech accompanied by confusion or insecurity. ... [the preceding ellipsis points are used to indicate missing text, as your HS teacher taught you] Interruption or abrupt changes in thought are usually indicated by em dashes.

"I hope that," he pauses to take a toke and exhales slowly, "helps."
Perhaps M can give us an editor's viewpoint.
-Thoth

[Marguerite]

Who told you the ellipses were incorrect, TAS? My understanding is similar to Thoth's: in nonfiction, an ellipsis indicates missing text (it's used most often in quotations, although not at the beginning or end of the quotation unless you end mid-sentence). Otherwise I could quote you saying "I do not like ice cream" as "I do like ice cream." Admittedly, "I do ... like ice cream" is not much of an improvement, but it at least hints that I left something out.

In fiction, the ellipses are used to indicate speech breaks created by the character, as when someone falters, stammers, or trails off without finishing a sentence. If someone interrupts another character, you use an em-dash. That's what I read in some writing book somewhere, in any case, so that's what I do.

If ... you ... use ... too many ... ellipses, there is a danger of sounding like Bill Shatner or Barbara Cartland, whose characters (yes, I read her once upon a time—never laughed so much in my life) can't finish two sentences without a pause. But once in a while should be fine. I don't know any other way to indicate a pause. If anyone else does, please weigh in. I'd like to know, too.
Best,
M

[Thoth]

Marguerite, on Dec 6 2010, 11:55 AM, said:

If ... you ... use ... too many ... ellipses, there is a danger of sounding like Bill Shatner..."

You know, Shatner writes too. Non-Trek sci-fi! (Anyone remember Tekwar from 1991?) I wonder if he writes the way he talks.
Curious.
-Thoth

[Marguerite]

Thoth, on Dec 6 2010, 07:14 PM, said:

You know, Shatner writes too. Non-Trek sci-fi! (Anyone remember Tekwar from 1991?) I wonder if he writes the way he talks.
Curious.
-Thoth

No, because he had ghost writers.* I didn't read all the Tekwar books, but I did read one or two. They weren't bad, as I recall.

*Gar and Judith, whose last name I don't quite recall. Rhys-Stevens?

[Thoth]

Marguerite, on Dec 6 2010, 07:54 PM, said:

No, because he had ghost writers.* I didn't read all the Tekwar books, but I did read one or two. They weren't bad, as I recall.

I'm just grateful someone had the courage to document that dark period in our history.

Marguerite, on Dec 6 2010, 07:54 PM, said:

*Gar and Judith, whose last name I don't quite recall. Rhys-Stevens?

Garfield Reeves-Stevens and Judith Reeves-Stevens for most (all?) of his stuff, at least according to Amazon, but not for the original Tekwar. That was all his fault...er...doing.
-T